050491
2.10.2007, 17:37
Went service today.its a friendship kinda service.
and i realised its been 2weeks since i communicate with the HS.
kinda guilty and feeling not realy right.
it seems like its been a long time even since i last went to Nexus,
when its only like 2weeks.
i felt very out of place.
its also been a long time even since i went home so early aft service.
its just not right.
the feeling i used to have has left me totally.
i used to be so excited doing certain things,
but now it all faded away.
and i doubt it will ever come back agn.
talking abt friends,
i felt that im a total failure.
used 15 years and 10mths of my life on the big, round, blue and realistic world,
not finding someone i can tell her ALL things and wont feel unaccepted,
that i can love spending time with till the world disappear one fine day.
or isit im to picky?
people who i once thought i can tell em all things,
had either left me, disappoint me, or betrayed me.
what else on earth can i hope for?
its so hard to find someone you love to spend all the time with,
and talk about all the things happening ard.
but its so easy to find 10 Enemies.