050491
1.16.2007, 22:02
its blogging time!1002pm now.
finished watching 2 show.
dinner was fishball mee.
tmr breakfast frm Eliz, bread+nutella.
n mushroom soup for recess+ruffles.
i realised i hv been eating kinda regularly n quite alot.
i dono why but keep feeling hungry every 4hrs.
like a baby who needs milk every 4hrs.
man! i'll grow fat!
nonono! dieting frm tml!
only breakfast no lunch!
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neway. ihv done something i always thought of doing.
but didnt expect it to be now.
didnt want it to be like this.
neither do i want to hurt anyone.
you guys r the best bunch of frens i ever met!
but i dont feel anything now.
i waited for a night,
hoping tt you would say something to convince me.
but u didnt.
you made me hardened.
wads done cannt be undone.
i may put on a smile evryday,
but it may nt be the real me.
you may see me laughting,
joking n playing;
but deep inside me.
lonliness, unhappiness.
trying to put up my best smile everyday,
in front of everyone.
im tired now.
no one understands me.
so wat if i would go ard telling everyone my problems,
who can help ? no one.
thought now my family has become better n closer.
which i thank god for that.
you will never understand the scar left on my heart.
its been hurt.
unforgetable BAD memories will cont to live within me.
no one can erase it for me.
even if you give me a wonderful day today,
tmr, i'll still live in reality.
who can i trust ?
blaming me for not telling you is alright.
cox u nv pay attention to wad i really need.
wat i needed is jux pure n sincere concern.
thought i may say words tt hurts u at times.
but wad u did in return was worst.
thought you might be joking like u always did,
but i need the support from you too.
Rejections isnt a good feeling to get.
face it geraldine! ok!
what i didnt experience in my sec. sch life,
i must experience it now.
its jux a few more mths,
n im out of secondary sch.
all the funs i missed in sec. school.
though it'll nv come back agn,
but doing wad is nt done now can cover up wad i missed?
i doubt so.
i did all this because of you.
leaving behind what is done,
moving ahead to what is undone.
how i wish i can leave the bad memories behind too.
its hindering me from marching forward.
i'll thank you for what you brought for me,
but is it too late?
why must you wait till i made my final step then you come to me?
its so different now.